Meishi Smile Returns With Heart-Healing “Pastel”

Meishi Smile announced his new album, …Belong , this spring with a stunning FADER mix that blended a Kanye West noise edit and nightcore version of KoRn. As a musician and label-head, one of Meishi Smile's talents is taking uncommon reference points to make something uncommonly affecting.

In an interview accompanying the FADER mix, he described "Pastel," which we're finally debuting today, as one of his favorite songs he's ever written. (It's one of my favorites too.) "The lyrics come off as if they are about feelings of self-deprecation experienced throughout the dissolve of a romantic relationship," he said. "They appear rather violent and confrontational"—just like the abrasive mix. "However, the song is actually about the death of my grandfather and the guilt I felt about no longer being able to express certain things with his passing. A sort of general grieving consciousness and denial of what had transpired." Technically, the song is a combination of both ideas: part of the lyrics were written outside a hospice center, in one kind of sadness; the rest was composed after the dissolution of a romantic relationship.

And somehow in the dissonance there arises a beautiful thing. "Pastel" is a deep song and also directly pretty. The lyrics are below. Its music video was created by New York artists Brian Vu and Mel Nguyen, with help by Chris Vu and modeled by Michelle Yoon. The album, …Belong, is out October 6th and available for pre-order now.

hearts seem to half light my will thin bruises pass times thin veil i see you suffer slow here ill lie that not everything dies pastel white, slows your heart though i say "stay here" faint seams turn halfway harm will reject lest they may cry still your blood reflects me bright here ill lie that not everything dies the real feeling, the broken feeling without you now slowly passing, slowly knowing what you breathed once was right here days you reject growing lonely, growing colder a pain too deep in the summer like an IV that drips through a torn vein missing you makes me feel so ill the feeling breathes, you plant the seed and the simplicity of my heart shatters underneath the reality of the world