Twitter is mostly a garbage fire, but every so often, some creative genius comes along and uses the medium as a means to stretch the means of human creativity. On Monday, @KingBeyonceStan created a thread, which was seemingly at least somewhat inspired by a famous Little Britain sketch about your favorite pop stars. (@KingBeyonceStan did not immediately respond to a request for comment.)
In the sketch and the thread, here's two categories of singers — those who have the range and those who don't. Read the entire, masterful thread below, and follow @KingBeyonceStan for more wisdom.
She doesn't have the range: a thread coming soon.
— vodka lemonade (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
Now before you write me off as bias I'm going to start out with one of my all time favorites. Like, I love her.
— vodka lemonade (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
Amy Lee:
— vodka lemonade (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
-The first white woman I ever loved.
-Hauntingly beautiful timbre
-She doesn't have the range. pic.twitter.com/YO67l8ooRc
Selena Gomez:
— vodka lemonade (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
-the savior pop
-not Quintanilla (who in fact had the range)
-she doesn't have the range pic.twitter.com/zVJKbI72JP
Fifth Harmony:
— vodka lemonade (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
-the most awkward girl group in history
-they don't have the range. pic.twitter.com/TKpAdCBJt2
Britney Spears
— vodka lemonade (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
-lipsyncing since the first Bush adm.
-she doesn't have the range (vocally and of motion in the knee) pic.twitter.com/dRrYCK2CaW
Sia
— vodka lemonade (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
-excellent songwriter
-a god send to the pop girls
-yet she doesn't have the range pic.twitter.com/uEfynUpiy7
Zayn:
— vodka lemonade (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
-A man
-Respek for breaking away from the whites
-she doesn't have the range pic.twitter.com/ZZ8hTV1gie
Madonna:
— vodka lemonade (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
-faked having the range in Evita
-embarrassed Prince in Heaven
-she doesn't have the range pic.twitter.com/wtCvpweTKa
Janet Jackson:
— vodka lemonade (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
-Master of whispers (Varys who?)
-a scammer who loves robbery and fraud
-she doesn't have the range. pic.twitter.com/EzKBbPG2Vg
Lana Del Rey:
— vodka lemonade (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
-My fave
-Percocet & exploited AARP funds can't make up for the fact that
-she doesn't have the range pic.twitter.com/lIankWWJjo
Rihanna:
— vodka lemonade (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
-great, uh, gowns beautiful gowns
-bops and blunts
-she doesn't have the range pic.twitter.com/U2OdAbIZN8
Drake:
— vodka lemonade (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
-senior undersecretary of the lightskins
-has a legion of dull clones
-she doesn't have the range pic.twitter.com/i3VtYI5RhL
Adele:
— vodka lemonade (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
-a master manipulator
-beautiful timbre
-everyone thinks she has the range.
-she doesn't have the range. pic.twitter.com/fWaMFzPxtp
The Weeknd:
— vodka lemonade (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
-ruined 6 Inch
-is cocaine goals
-she doesn't have the range pic.twitter.com/sknnGr5AcF
Katy Perry:
— vodka lemonade (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
-fucked riff raff
-hates Royals by Lorde
-bicurious Christian
-she doesn't have the range pic.twitter.com/T1wMvdaByB
Lady Gaga:
— vodka lemonade (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
-calmed down & became a tolerable white woman
-hated by Robyn gays with a passion
-doesn't have the range pic.twitter.com/ZTH45MWrBa
Nick Jonas:
— vodka lemonade (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
-a pay-per-view homosexual
-gayest right before album releases
-she doesn't have the range pic.twitter.com/Gk84I1dXvj
Frank Ocean:
— vodka lemonade (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
-a myth at this point
-she didn't have the range last we heard from him pic.twitter.com/RkSVJBhVIn
Alicia Keys:
— vodka lemonade (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
-a talent
-not a soprano
-takes what she wants
-Mashonda 😞
-she doesn't have the range pic.twitter.com/K9v584zNSi
Jennifer Lopez:
— vodka lemonade (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
-Mi Tía
-Mariah Carey no la conoce
-ella no tiene el rango pic.twitter.com/xITQYoia9R
Tempers are running a little high so let's look at some of the wonderful talents that do have the range.
— vodka lemonade (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
Beyoncé:
— vodka lemonade (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
-Beyoncé of America
-Daughter of Tina
-Mother of Blue
-Queen of Beys
-She has the range pic.twitter.com/SBVtbuUK0x
Mariah Carey:
— vodka lemonade (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
-Queen of
•range
•runs
•shade
•not knowing JLo
-she has the range pic.twitter.com/937yk6OMb1
Tori Kelly
— vodka lemonade (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
-needs better material
-EPs were excellent
-she has the range. pic.twitter.com/VsmTyYZzfC
Ariana Grande:
— vodka lemonade (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
-🙅🏾 enunciating
-gave up fucking Big Sean so she's not that bright
-she nevertheless has the range pic.twitter.com/TV3EGT7FMU
Jazmine Sullivan:
— vodka lemonade (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
-a masterpiece
-she has the range. pic.twitter.com/GzIeDUtFBl
Christina Aguilera:
— vodka lemonade (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
-a vocal coach
-Queen of ramp ups
-virginal at least for that one song
-she has the range pic.twitter.com/oTk2B0Qb2H
Brandy:
— vodka lemonade (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
-running Queen. Good cuz
-I don't want her driving and coming near me in these streets
-she has the range pic.twitter.com/YU74RCg7ai
Celine Dion:
— vodka lemonade (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
-whew I don't envy the year she's had.
-She has the range. pic.twitter.com/JZV007mZSt
Whitney Houston:
— vodka lemonade (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
-the Voice
-saved her for last
-your fave could never.
-had Aretha shook
-she had the range pic.twitter.com/UjIoh70fah