Compiled! Defiled! After the jump, we present The FADER's Best Of 2005 lists. AKA the realest shit we ever wrote. Have a happy last year.
Top Three Hottest* Southern California Music Festivals
3. Arthurfest, Los Angeles
2. Coachella Valley Music Festival, Indio
1. Rock The Bells, San Bernardino
* In temperature
Top Five Most Notable Aspects Of The Broken Social Scene's Live Performance
5. Guitarist Andrew Whiteman's gratuitous ham and cheese-ing it to the crowd
4. Drummer Justin Peroff's wearing of long-sleeve T-shirts
3. Singer Lisa Lobsinger's hair sculpture
2. Their awesomeness
1. Singer Leslie Feist's unabashed air guitaring
Wildman's Most Shredding Shows of 2005
5. Dr. Dog at Mercury Lounge – “The Dog boogie, with Nocito’s mind falling out of his head.”
4. Gang Gang Dance and Bloodlines at Bowery – “Bloodlines being totally insane and Gang Gang totally beautiful.”
3. Superwolf in Amsterdam – “Jamming some of the heaviest ‘hits’ ever.”
2. Dizzee Rascal at Irving – “Making white people sweat like noone's business.”
1. Bright Eyes at Webster Hall – “Digital super group, even Lee Ranaldo charged the balcony rail to get a look.”
Wildman's Least Shredding Shows of 2005
5. Clap Your Hands And Say Yeah at the Seaport – “Just boring enough to be memorable. Daytime outside might have added to the suckyness but who knows.”
4. Sufjan Stevens at Bowery – “Sufjan’s Christian cheerleaders are terrifying.”
3. Beck and the Polyphonic Spree at Coney Island – “Beck seemed weird and suspect which made Polyphonic seem amazing and I know that can’t be true.”
2. Children of Bodom at Irving – “Just seemed old and tired, shred level 2.”
1. Pelican at Knitting Factory – “Most boring hour plus ever.”
Top Two Music DVDs To Blow People's Minds
2. R Kelly, Trapped In The Closet Vol 1-12
1. T. Rex, Born To Boogie
Top Five Favorite Characters From Trapped In The Closet
5. Bridget
5. The Midget
3. Omniscient Master Of Ceremonies R
2. Chuck
1. Twan
Top Five Least Worst Bloc Party Videos
5. (tie) "Helicopter" and "Pioneers"*
4. "So Here We Are"
3. "Banquet" (Giant Hands Version)
2. "Banquet" (Get Ready Version)
1. "Two More Years"
*Basically it's the same animated video, but in the US it's for "Helicopter" and in the UK it's for "Pioneers" and in either country it's terrible.
Ruben Fleischer's Favorite Videos Of The Year In No Particular Order
The Go! Team, "Ladyflash" (directed by The Go! Team)
Audioslave, "Doesn't Remind Me" (directed by Chris Milk)
OK Go, "A Million Ways" (directed by OK Go)
LCD Soundsystem, "Tribulations" (directed Dougal Wilson)
Jason Forrest, "War Photographer" (directed by Joel Trussell)
Carpark North, "Human" (directed by Martin De Thurah)
Quasimoto, "Rappcats Pt 3" (directed by Andrew Gura)
Menomena, "Cough Coughing" (directed by Jonnie Ross)
Most Ridiculous Re-packaging Situation
Top Four FADER Blog Posts Involving Damon Dash’s Ultimate Hustler
4. A Night Out With Esthero
3. It’s Dame’s World, We Just Live In It
2. Ante Up
1. It Wasn’t Dame, It Was His Hologram
Top Eight FADER Blog Posts Involving Juelz Santana
8. Santana’s Town BBQ
7. Live photos from the Skate Key Katrina benefit
6. The Santana’s Town logo
5. Juelz, Fort Minor, Guns N Roses, PowerBooks
4. On set at the filming of Killa Season
3. (tie) Interview and photos from the F33 release party
2. Juelz and Kano live at Riverside Park Ampitheatre
1. Juelz and Lindsay Lohan
Pesky's Top Eight Phrases Of 2005 In No Particular Order
Special audio list action (right-click and save-as)
Top 12 Most Relentless Office Catchphrases
12. "Hollah, hollah, holla-hah!"*
11. "Web 2.0!"
10. "Bro-back Mountain"**
9. "Out in the streets, they call it ______!"
8. "Aaaaaaakon and Jeff Tweeeeeeedy, trynna take it eeeeeeeeeeeazy."
7. "...in a K-hole."
6. "What's hatninin?"
5. "'That's the reason that you had me?' 'Yup!'"
4. "Yerple!"
3. "Paww Waww"
2. "Jammed a session on my mind!"
1. "Weird."
*Sung in John Legend's Kermit voice
**Late-breaking addition, still gaining!
Top Eight Beards of 2005
8. Dangermouse
7. Kip from TV On The Radio
6. Will Oldham
5. LD Beghtol
4. Sam Beam
3. Devendra
2. THE DOG!
1. Freeway
Top Three Lady Sovereign East Village Radio Appearances
3. August 12
2. July 12
1. March 11*
*Psyche!
Top Five Remakes Of “Welcome To Jamrock”
5. Tony Yayo, “Jamrock Freestyle”
4. Juelz Santana and Cam'ron, “Murda Murda (Welcome To My Damn Block)”
3. DJ Min One, “Welcome To Crunkrock”
2. Lil Kim, “Lighters Up”*
1. Rossi B and Luca featuring N.A.S.T.Y. Crew, “Run 4 Cover”
* The original version that shouts out Canarsie and Williamsburg and all the other neighborhoods in Brooklyn.
Top 14 Songs Sampled On Kanye West's Late Registration
14. Orange Krush, "Action"
13. New York City Community Choir, "Since You Came In My Life"*
12. Natalie Cole, "Someone I Used To Love"
11. The KayGees, "Heavenly Dream"
10. Whatnauts, "I'll Erase The Pain"
9. Bill Withers, "Rosie"
8. Etta James, "My Funny Valentine"
7. Ray Charles, "I Got A Woman"
6. Shirley Bassey. "Diamonds Are Forever"
5. Otis Redding, "It's Too Late"
4. Hank Crawford, "Wildflower"
3. Curtis Mayfield, "Move On Up"
2. Gil Scott-Heron, "Home Is Where The Hatred Is"
1. Donal Leace, "Today Won't Come Again"
* We've never actually heard this song, but we're pretty sure it's better than "Action"
Top Ten Songs Eric Ducker's Been Putting On Mix CDs
10. Frida, "I Know Something’s Going On"
9. Turbulence, "Notorious"
8. 4-Ize, "Ron Artest"
7. Linda Lewis, "Old Smokey"
6. Three 6 Mafia, "Stay Fly"
5. Barry McGuire, "Eve Of Destruction"
4. Trina, "Da Club"
3. Roll Deep, "Heartache"
2. Amerie, "1 Thing"
1. Gabor Szabo, "San Franciscan Nights"
Top Ten Remixes Of Annie
10. "Happy Without You (Riton Vocal Remix)"
9. "Me Plus One (James Iha Remix)"
8. "Chewing Gum (Headman Vocal Remix)"
7. "Happy Without You (Sebastian Remix)"
6. “Always Too Late (Joakim Remix Dub)”
5. “Heartbeat (Alan Braxe Remix)”
4. "Heartbeat (MSTRKRFT Remix)"
3. "Always Too Late (Y£$ Remix)"
2. "Me Plus One (The Rapture Hush Hush Remix)"
1. "Heartbeat (Phones Maximo Remix)"
Top Eight Possible (Or Definite) References To Cocaine On Bright Eyes's Digital Ash In A Digital Urn
8. "Did they make you stay up all night?/ Did they paint your face that pasty white?" ("Down In A Rabbit
Hole")
7. "Sometimes I worry that I've lost the plot/ My twitching muscles tease my flippant thoughts." ("Easy/Lucky/Free")
6. "And all those white lines that sped us up/ We hurry to forget." ("Gold Mine Gutted")
5. "So I laid back down, wrapped myself up in the sheet/ And I must have looked like a ghost, cause something frightened me/ And since then I've been so good at vanishing." ("Take It Easy (Love Nothing)")
4. "Drink liquid clocks 'til I see God/ Crystal display can't turn it off." ("Time Code")
3. "Let's have a nice clean cut/ Like a bag we buy and divvy up." ("Gold Mine Gutted")
2. "I heard you fell into a rabbit hole/ Covered yourself up in snow." ("Down In A Rabbit Hole")
1. "Winter came to Omaha/ It left us looking like a bride." ("Theme From A Piñata")
Top Ten "Stop Stealing My Motherfucking Ad Libs" Throwaway Lines That Are Better Than Most Rappers' Albums
10. "Yeahuhh...Caanooooooooons!" - Sandman of The Re-Up Gang
9. "Call me when it's gangsta." - Lil Wayne
8. "Ayo my whole life I heard, 'Go to school, get an education, go to college.' What the fuck for? So I can get a job making 30,000 a year? Pay back my student loans? Plus, how the fuck am I gonna buy Lamborghinis, Ferraris and go to Miami ten times a year!?" - Cam'ron
7. "I ain't mad. I don't wanna sound mad. I feel marvelous." - Jadakiss
6. "Weezy F Baby and please don't forget the motherfucking Baby." - Lil Wayne
5. "What better way to start the week off, baby? I'm tired of bodying everyone else's tracks. Producers, if you got something send em. StackbundlesRRS@aol! It's love!" - Stack Bundles
4. "Ayo, man. I can't feel my face." - Ghostface
3. "Just Blaze, you a rebel on this beat!" - Fat Joe
2. "Yeaaaaaaaaaah!" - Young Jeezy
1. "Yeaaaaaaaaaah!" - DJ Paul of Three 6 Mafia
Top 12 Lyrical References On The Fiery Furnaces' Rehearsing My Choir
12. Twice-baked briochean danish pastry pockets
11. Caputo's Produce And Fruit Market
10. Trader Vic's or Mister Rick's
9. Corduroy knickers that I got from the coal-shoveling kid
8. Autographed picture of Robert Mitchum
7. Dr. Kristopolis and his wife Claudette
6. Charlatan phony fraud Gypsy bitch
5. Chocolate so bitter that it could kill Typhus
4. Vintage throwback $45 1983 White Sox hats
3. The mercury out of the old thermometer they have in the north-facing doors to the left by the shoeshine boys in the lobby of the Monadnock Building
2. Riding up the Tyiatus (sp?) on a donkey named David
1. Joey Meyer's Red, White & Blue Demon Basketball Seminar Tutorial Clinic Daycare Camp For Underpriviledged Kids And Over-Stimulated Brats
Top Ten Things You Didn’t Appreciate Enough In 2005
10. The Bay
9. Kano, Home Sweet Home
8. TTC
7. …Trail Of Dead
6. Volcano!
5. Odawas
4. Trina and Mannie Fresh, "Da Club"
3. Matt Costa
2. Dios (Malos)
1. Maceo